I had the pleasure of joining other brides (former and soon to be) on a panel for the benefit of wedding vendors last night at Stonebrook Manor. We panelists were asked a variety of questions pertaining to our wedding planning process and how we interacted with vendors. First I must say that there was a room full of vendors there who are clearly fully invested in their demographic and I think that’s awesome. Secondly, I have to say that I learned a lot as well! While the panel was for vendors to better understand their brides, I think that brides could learn a lot from what was said at the panel as well. A few things in particular stuck out to me:
- Wedding Planner Regret - All of the former brides on the panel said that they wish they would have hired a wedding planner (at minimum the “day of” package). We all agreed that the peace of mind would have been priceless and that there was undue stress on our friends, family, and vendors to help out on the day of the wedding.
- Social Media Meh – None of us used social media in any large way to search for vendors! I knew I didn’t but I was so surprised to hear that nobody else did either. I blame the fact that searching for vendors through social media is practically impossible. You are only “liking” someone on Facebook after you know their name and hunt them down. And even at that, I didn’t “like” many vendors until well after the wedding and for blog purposes.
- Cake Envy – Of those of us who responded, almost everyone said the thing they wish they would have spent more on was the cake! I was among this group. For me, I wish I had a fancy cake from the likes of Intricate Icings. For some of the ladies it had more to do with regret over making their own deserts or not purchasing enough cake. I remember when I was wedding planning, there were some sources that said to low-ball the cake numbers because everyone hates wedding cake and half of it will be untouched. I was like, “Who the hell are these people that don’t like cake?!” I allotted plenty of cake and it was a good thing because there were hardly any leftovers.
- $10,000 – Nearly everyone on the panel (besides me…sigh) managed to keep their wedding near this value. I’m not sure if this panel was representative or not (since it’s nowhere near the national average) but it made me feel like one of those girls on My Super Sweet Sixteen.
- What Went Wrong - Bridesmaid not showing up (me), running out of booze, running out of cake, having people be judgmental about a second marriage or a pregnancy, a bride who let her husband plan the honeymoon and he took them camping, and so much more was shared. It’s always interesting to hear the nightmares.
- Cost Delusion – Now that I’m a bigger part of the wedding industry, I see how unaware brides are of what the actual costs involved with wedding planning are and why wedding vendors charge so much, charge down payments, etc. I kinda wanted to jump in and explain but I was trying my best not to be…me. However, this is my blog and it’s going to be a new feature! <3